
Dating Your Way to a Healthier Life
Finding the right healthy lifestyle isn’t about forcing yourself into a one-size-fits-all plan—it’s about experimenting, learning, and discovering what truly works for you.
Becki Parsons, a dietitian and exercise physiologist with a unique approach to health and wellness, likens the process to dating. As the founder of a private practice specializing in personalized nutrition and fitness counseling, Becki describes herself as a “matchmaker” between her clients and the habits that help them thrive.
Her philosophy is simple: just like in dating, finding the right fit takes trial and error, and there’s no shame in moving on from something that doesn’t work.
“Dating” Healthy Habits
Becki loves helping people find the “perfect date” when it comes to healthy habits. “Every person is so different,” Becki explains. Her job is to get to know each client well enough to suggest options that might work for their unique lifestyle, preferences, and goals.
But Becki emphasizes that these are just “dates,” not lifelong commitments. “A lot of times, people jump straight into ‘marrying’ a diet or lifestyle change without really dating it first,” she says. “They announce, ‘This is what I’m doing, and I’m totally committed,’ but they haven’t tested it out to see if it’s a good fit for them. And when it’s not, it feels like this big, shameful divorce.” Becki’s approach removes that pressure by encouraging people to try different strategies without fear of failure.
If a plan doesn’t work, Becki normalizes moving on. “It’s probably not you—it’s just not the right match,” she says. Just because one approach doesn’t fit doesn’t mean there isn’t another one out there that will. By framing lifestyle changes as temporary try-outs, you can avoid the shame of “divorce” and instead focus on finding what truly works for you. “The goal is to explore, learn, and adapt,” she adds.
Becki’s “Dating” History
Becki’s “dating” approach isn’t just something she applies to her clients—it’s a philosophy she’s lived herself. Early in her career, Becki realized that while she was teaching others how to follow therapeutic diets, she didn’t have the lived experience of what it was like to implement those changes. “People would ask me, ‘Do you even know what it’s like to count carbs or track sodium?’ And I realized that was a fair question,” she recalls.
To better understand her clients’ challenges, Becki started a personal project she called “Dietitian on a Diet.” She decided to “date” the same therapeutic diets she was recommending, following each one for three weeks at a time to see what it was really like. “I wanted to know what it felt like to live the life I was asking my clients to live,” she explains.
Through this process, Becki discovered just how tough some approaches could be. “When I tried paleo, it was the worst three weeks of my food life,” she says. “It was isolating, restrictive, and made it impossible to enjoy meals with others. Even if it guaranteed I’d live to 100 without diseases, I realized I wouldn’t do it because my life wouldn’t feel worth living.”
“For some people, the traditional advice I was taught to give—like carb counting—was their version of paleo. They’d rather keep coming back to the hospital every few months to have another toe cut off than count their carbs,” she says. This realization reinforced her commitment to finding flexible, sustainable solutions for her clients, rather than relying on rigid, one-size-fits-all plans. “I have to meet them where they are at, and find something they are willing to do rather than offering them the one option they aren’t.” Through “Dietitian on a Diet,” Becki built the empathy and creativity that define her practice today.
Finding Your Perfect Match
So how can you find the healthy lifestyle habits that are a perfect match for you?
The Two Parameters for a "Good Match"
A lifestyle change needs to meet two crucial criteria to be a “good match.”
- It must achieve your physiological or health goals. Whether it’s lowering blood sugar, reducing blood pressure, or losing weight, the approach you choose should deliver measurable results that align with your objectives.
- It must fit your lifestyle. “Even the best plan won’t work if it doesn’t mesh with your schedule, budget, or personal preferences,” Becki explains. A plan that’s too expensive, time-consuming, or restrictive is unlikely to last. The key is finding an approach that supports your health goals while seamlessly integrating into your everyday life.
The Trial Period: 2-4 Weeks
Just like dating, a new healthy habit requires time to see if it’s a good fit. Becki recommends a trial period of two to four weeks to assess compatibility. “This gives you enough time to see if it’s working for your body and your life,” she says.
During this trial period, it’s important to reflect on a few key questions: Does this fit my daily routine? Is it improving my health markers, like blood sugar or weight? Can I realistically stick with this long-term?
Becki emphasizes that this is a time for observation, not judgment. “Think of yourself as both the lab rat and the researcher,” she advises. If something isn’t working, it’s simply information to help you adjust or try a different approach. The goal is to find what works for you—not to force yourself into something that doesn’t.
Testing Through Stress
Like a relationship, a healthy lifestyle plan isn’t right for you if it only works when life is smooth and stress-free. Becki highlights the importance of testing whether a plan holds up during challenging times. “If a plan falls apart the moment stress enters the picture, it’s not sustainable,” she explains. “Stress is an inevitable part of life, and a good approach should be flexible enough to adapt without completely derailing your progress.”
Healthy Doesn’t Have to be Hard
The journey to a healthier lifestyle doesn’t have to feel overwhelming or miserable. Becki stresses the importance of breaking free from the all-or-nothing mindset that often derails progress.
“People think they have to overhaul their entire life to be healthy, but that’s just not true,” she says. Instead, she encourages focusing on small, realistic steps that are both sustainable and impactful. For example, committing to eating a protein with every carb is a simple change that can stabilize blood sugar and improve satiety without requiring a complete diet overhaul.
Equally important is embracing individuality in the process. No two people are the same, and a one-size-fits-all approach rarely works. “Your healthy life doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s,” she says. “It should fit you—your schedule, your budget, and your brain.”
As Becki says: “Healthy doesn’t have to be hard.”
Becki Parsons is a Registered Dietitian and Certified Clinical Exercise Physiologist.