Why Diets Don't Work—And What Actually Helps Women Over 40 Reclaim Their Relationship with Food
For many women, especially those entering midlife, dieting has been a way of life for decades. You've tried all the plans. Counted all the points. Started over every Monday. And still, you feel like food controls you more than you control it.
Caroline Klemens, a dietitian who specializes in working with women over 40, put it perfectly: "So many of the women I work with have spent their whole lives trying to become a smaller version of themselves."
If you're feeling stuck, frustrated, or just plain tired of dieting, you're not alone. And there is a better way.
The Problem with Diet Culture
Diet culture thrives on shame, restriction, and black-and-white thinking. It tells you that your worth is tied to your size. That certain foods are "bad." That hunger is something to fight.
And over time, this thinking takes a toll—especially as your body goes through natural transitions like perimenopause and menopause.
As Caroline shared, "They're not broken. The system is."
Diets don't help you understand your body. They don't teach you how to manage stress or emotions. They just give you a set of rules and hope you can follow them perfectly. But real life isn't perfect—and neither is anyone's body.
Why Diets Fail—Especially After 40
Hormonal changes in midlife make dieting even less effective. Estrogen declines, insulin sensitivity shifts, stress rises, and cravings often increase. You might find yourself saying, "I used to be able to eat like this and stay the same weight. What changed?"
The answer: your body changed—but your approach hasn't.
Dieting also fails to address the emotional roots of eating. Many people eat not just out of hunger, but out of stress, boredom, or self-soothing. When those emotional drivers go unexamined, no amount of food rules will "fix" the problem.
On top of that, your body's ability to tolerate stress can decrease in midlife. As Caroline noted, "You might not handle stress like you used to. Your body might not handle carbs like it used to."
It's normal for approaches that "worked" for you in the past to stop working as your body goes through the hormonal shifts of perimenopause and menopause.
What Actually Helps: A New Approach
Mindset Shifts Over Willpower
Caroline emphasizes that true change starts with shifting how people think about food and their bodies. "It's not about what they're doing; it's about why they're doing it," she explains. Instead of relying on willpower, she helps clients examine the beliefs driving their behaviors and supports them in building a sustainable mindset. "How you do one thing is how you do everything," she adds, highlighting the deep connection between mindset and actions.
Emotional Awareness & Mindful Eating
A big part of Caroline's work involves addressing emotional eating. "I help clients understand why they're emotionally eating—whether it's unmet needs, stress, or blood sugar—and then we find a strategy to overcome it," she shares. This process involves guiding clients to tune into their emotions and hunger cues, enabling them to make choices that honor their bodies and minds.
Body Trust Over Food Rules
Caroline rejects rigid food rules, opting instead to help clients develop trust in their own bodies. "They think the answer is outside of them, but really, it's inside," she says. By working on body image and helping clients accept natural changes—such as those that come with menopause—she empowers them to move away from diet culture. "If they can let go of the belief that 'I must be smaller to be worthy,' they can step into a body that looks different but still feels good," she explains.
Sustainable Habits, Not Quick Fixes
Caroline encourages clients to focus on long-term habits rather than short-term diets. "The best way to lose weight, if that's their goal, is the same way to keep it off," she says. This means building small, manageable changes into their lifestyle. Caroline's ultimate goal is to make these changes feel effortless: "When they tell me, 'I'm doing these changes, and it's actually easy,' that's when I know they've truly transformed."
What Food Freedom Looks Like
For women who embrace this shift, the transformation is powerful.
They feel more calm and in control. Cravings fade. Confidence grows. Food becomes less of a battleground and more of a way to care for themselves.
When you stop fighting your body and start working with it, things click into place.
You're Not Failing—The System Failed You
If you feel like nothing has worked, it's not because you're lazy, weak, or broken.
It's because diets have sold you a lie: that change comes from restriction and control.
The truth? Change comes from compassion, curiosity, and consistency. From progress—not perfection. From reconnecting with your body, not punishing it.
So if you're over 40 and done with the diet rollercoaster, know this: You can have peace with food. You can feel good in your body. You can break free—and it starts with one small, kind step today.
Caroline Klemens is a Registered Dietitian and Coach who has a passion for helping women over 40 step into a peaceful way of eating and living.